Over the past three years, I’ve seen a lot of anger. Some of it has been anger I’ve produced. Sometimes, I’ll be counseling
a fallen pastor and see others angry at him for the moral failure he committed and lash out at him for months or years.
I have images saved on my computer from Facebook from people who have stated things about me that were hurtful or harsh. They were church members, family, or friends. I was angry about them at the time when they said them. When they said them publicly, I thought, “How could they say such things in public? This is a private matter!”
When I was writing my book, Dr. Hershael York, professor of preaching at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary was a great help to me. I interviewed him for a take on fallen pastors, but he instead ended up being of great help and guidance to me. He helped heal a lot of wounds I had in my heart and set me straight on some prideful issues I had.
He told me that a fallen pastor has to come to a place of brokenness over his sin. There are ways to know when this has happened and I cover that in my book. I realized when I talked to him that I hadn’t come to that place fully.
Here are a couple of things he said: “If you’re genuinely broken to your sin, you realize the people who are all handling it wrong were put in that position because you sinned; you had the choice, they didn’t.”
“When I see a guy who is bitter and angry at somebody’s response to his sin, I realize he’s not completely there yet. He has to have a complete accepting of responsibility for his sin. Their sin is their sin. I’m not justifying a bad reaction, that’s sin too.”
Dr. York was telling me that when a fallen pastor gets nasty emails, texts or things written about him on Facebook, that’s a consequence of his actions. Deal with it. Those people were put in that place because of his sin. Is their reaction right? No. But the fallen pastor is not allowed to get angry about it. The fallen pastor wants grace and forgiveness so he must extend that same grace and forgiveness towards those who aren’t extending it towards him at the time.
Friends, it’s hard when someone we look up to disappoints us. When they let us down. When they betray us and hurt us. That hurt may last a very long time. It is very easy to depart from the words of Scripture and the loving ways of Christ.
Over the past three years, I’ve had a unique opportunity to counsel and listen to fallen pastors, their wives, their church members, their children, and just about everyone associated with them. It hurts when I talk to them and it brings back my own sin to the forefront. But it also brings to mind the grace God showed me when I sinned.
It reminds me each time how far I fell and how much it grieved God. But it also reminds me how much He loves me and how far he cast my sin from His memory – as far as the east is from the west.
At the same time, it also reminds me how cruel we can be towards those who sin. When the adulteress was caught in John 8, she was surrounded by a judgmental crowd. The only friend she had was Christ. None of us can imagine taking sides against Christ, can we? But there was a whole crowd aligned against Christ that day. Who was standing by His side that day? An adulterous woman.
I used to be very, very judgmental upon those who sinned. I was often there to cast the first stone. It was very easy for me to point out sin instead of showing compassion and grace first.
Unfortunately, I think that our first response when Christians sin and disappoint us greatly is this – “When is God going to judge this person?” As I’ve talked to fallen pastors who have found forgiveness, they still struggle with the pain of those around them who will not forgive them. People who will not let go of their sin. People who remind them of their fall, stare at them in public, hold them in public disdain, gossip about them and never let their sin go. Unfortunately, many of these people are those within the church.
It’s almost as if many around them are asking, “When will God unleash His judgment upon this fallen pastor? When will God punish him for this heinous sin? They don’t deserve to be happy!”
Friends, thanks be to God He does not punish us as we deserve every day. God does have the ultimate right to 
vengeance. It is not ours to wield. Maybe at times we hold on to anger to punish those we think God should be showing anger towards. But God is merciful – and thanks be to Him for that!
If He was not merciful, we would all be in a terrible, wretched state.
I’m pleading with all of you – if there is someone you are holding on to anger towards, let it go. Give it to God. Even if you are unable to forgive, allow God to take control of your emotions. He is the only just judge. He is the one who can settle all matters wisely as they need to be settled. He will make all things right in the end.
God asks we all cast our cares and burdens upon Him because He cares for us. Even when people let us down, He will take care of it all. Trust in God, know that He will take care of all things.